Bleeding Love
Okay, a little back-story before my story: Matt and I used to "date" a few summers ago for about a month. It wasn't so much dating as it was two guys hanging out and doing stuff together. By "doing stuff," I totally mean non-sexual movie-watching and dinner-eating stuff. We kissed once the entire month and it was so ungodly awkward that I never tried it again. I don't think he had much experience in the matter, nor did he have an innate sense of how kissing works. It was like he didn't know what to do with his lips, so he decided to move them around like the thrashing arms of someone drowning. He also told me that night that he couldn't imagine putting a guy's penis inside his mouth because that's where pee comes from. It was duly noted and quickly filed away in the "never needed to know" file.
Fast forward to the following summer. Matt's in love, and thankfully by this point it is no longer with me. He's set his sights on a boy named Brent. Only problem is that Brent does not share Matt's deep feelings and he's something of a man-whore. Brent is pretty cute and uses this cuteness to get things out of guys. He has a history of screwing around with sugar-daddies, and sleeping around with more than one guy at any give time. But Matt's just sure that Brent is the one and will not look at reason. So my little caterpillar grows up and flies away to Baltimore to live closer to Brent. (Did I mention that they met on MySpace?) A few months later, Matt's phoning me, crying that Brent's acting like a dick and that he's not what Matt expected.
Big surprise, right? But here's the remarkable thing: Matt doesn't want to move back, and he doesn't want to stop trying to make things work with Brent. And so Matt doesn't. For over a year now, I've been kept abreast of the ins and outs of the Brent/Matt love-hate-fest, despite my objections to both hearing about the exploits and having him continue to be exploited. Brent has told Matt, to his face, that he's worthless and won't ever find anyone to be with. And Matt chooses to push forward and be Brent's friend, with the hope that some day Brent will look at Matt, fall deeply in love, and spend all eternity with him.
Completely bonkers. So here's my story. This evening I logged on to the Internets to check my email after being out of the house for most of the day. AOL IM automatically connected me online as well. I almost immediately got a message from Matt.
MATT: hey
ME: heya
MATT: sup?
ME: not much. just got home. checking email, etc. you?
MATT: just got back from the beach
ME: oh cool
MATT: went to da oshun hon
ME: huh?
MATT: went to da oshun
MATT: dahn at da shore
ME: oh, i get it
MATT: yeah it was an interesting trip to say the least... the drama that circles Brent
ME: yeah
ME: why you'd go anywhere he is confounds me
MATT: uh well he took us all... well and this went in my favor as well... I played his game and won this weekend
MATT: he had 2 of his friends with him... he had his fuck buddy Jarrod, and his friend Ryan that I think he wants to put on the list... well while he and Jarrod had a huge fight... Ryan and I hooked up
ME: if you're friends, should you be playing a game where one wins and one loses? that's not really friendship. if you feel like you always have to try to one-up someone, chances are it's not a healthy connection
MATT: like I said it's in my favor, cause he shut up... and isn't trying that crap with me anymore
ME: for now
MATT: no, I think he learned, cause if he wants to play games I can play just as well as he can... I have in the past and most likely would in the future choose not to
ME: well, that's cool. but it still remains: if you're friends, should you be playing a game where one wins and one loses?
MATT: no, its not good
MATT: but my whole winning here is to show him what he's doing to me... throw it back at him, talk about it and move on... and that is pretty much what happened
I'll give him that he's a few years younger than I am. But neither of us are in junior high school. And neither is Brent. He needs to sever communication with the asshole and chalk up the whole thing as a learning experience. No good is going to come from their continued co-existence. I just hope he realizes this before Brent can do even harsher damage to the poor boy's already shockingly low self-esteem.
Fast forward to the following summer. Matt's in love, and thankfully by this point it is no longer with me. He's set his sights on a boy named Brent. Only problem is that Brent does not share Matt's deep feelings and he's something of a man-whore. Brent is pretty cute and uses this cuteness to get things out of guys. He has a history of screwing around with sugar-daddies, and sleeping around with more than one guy at any give time. But Matt's just sure that Brent is the one and will not look at reason. So my little caterpillar grows up and flies away to Baltimore to live closer to Brent. (Did I mention that they met on MySpace?) A few months later, Matt's phoning me, crying that Brent's acting like a dick and that he's not what Matt expected.
Big surprise, right? But here's the remarkable thing: Matt doesn't want to move back, and he doesn't want to stop trying to make things work with Brent. And so Matt doesn't. For over a year now, I've been kept abreast of the ins and outs of the Brent/Matt love-hate-fest, despite my objections to both hearing about the exploits and having him continue to be exploited. Brent has told Matt, to his face, that he's worthless and won't ever find anyone to be with. And Matt chooses to push forward and be Brent's friend, with the hope that some day Brent will look at Matt, fall deeply in love, and spend all eternity with him.
Completely bonkers. So here's my story. This evening I logged on to the Internets to check my email after being out of the house for most of the day. AOL IM automatically connected me online as well. I almost immediately got a message from Matt.
MATT: hey
ME: heya
MATT: sup?
ME: not much. just got home. checking email, etc. you?
MATT: just got back from the beach
ME: oh cool
MATT: went to da oshun hon
ME: huh?
MATT: went to da oshun
MATT: dahn at da shore
ME: oh, i get it
MATT: yeah it was an interesting trip to say the least... the drama that circles Brent
ME: yeah
ME: why you'd go anywhere he is confounds me
MATT: uh well he took us all... well and this went in my favor as well... I played his game and won this weekend
MATT: he had 2 of his friends with him... he had his fuck buddy Jarrod, and his friend Ryan that I think he wants to put on the list... well while he and Jarrod had a huge fight... Ryan and I hooked up
ME: if you're friends, should you be playing a game where one wins and one loses? that's not really friendship. if you feel like you always have to try to one-up someone, chances are it's not a healthy connection
MATT: like I said it's in my favor, cause he shut up... and isn't trying that crap with me anymore
ME: for now
MATT: no, I think he learned, cause if he wants to play games I can play just as well as he can... I have in the past and most likely would in the future choose not to
ME: well, that's cool. but it still remains: if you're friends, should you be playing a game where one wins and one loses?
MATT: no, its not good
MATT: but my whole winning here is to show him what he's doing to me... throw it back at him, talk about it and move on... and that is pretty much what happened
I'll give him that he's a few years younger than I am. But neither of us are in junior high school. And neither is Brent. He needs to sever communication with the asshole and chalk up the whole thing as a learning experience. No good is going to come from their continued co-existence. I just hope he realizes this before Brent can do even harsher damage to the poor boy's already shockingly low self-esteem.
Labels: Department of Relationships
posted by Zachary @ 11:15 PM
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